September 2011
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Famous... Last... Words
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Flat screen TV screens are smaller than they say
Most people probably already knew, but I’m sort of dense sometimes - I was googling to determine the cost per square inch of a TV I bought, and ran across this chart at ScreenMath.com: Old Screen Size (Diag., Inches) Screen Height HDTV Screen Size (Diag.) ...
I can't see not having glasses
I sent the following missive to my sister, who has problems with defective(?) contact lenses:
I sure would consider glasses, or at least have some for backup. Studies show that people who wear glasses are treated better by employers and get better grades in school.
They are also good for communication: For example: A. You are in a meeting - You can take them off dramatically and say something...
When the trouble started #238
Sometimes guys don’t think before they pop off a one-liner, to wit…
Wife: “Hey! Let’s go out and have a good time tonight!”
Husband: “Okay! But if you get home before I do, leave the hall light on.”
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Book reduction! Which ones? →
It’s that time of the year when a fresh start means reducing the clutter accumulated in the last 12 months and in the many months and years before. The sagging bookshelf and the piles of books under the tables and around the bed might be a good place to start.
via roomfordebate.blogs.nytimes.com
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Funky First Aid
This rhyming first aid video already improved my general state of health- I laughed so hard that it dislodged an airway obstruction.
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Ailment spam
Boy Howdy, we get some weird spam, and I don’t mean lunch meat with bits of corn in it. Check this out:
Tреклист: 1. Choanal Imperforation (6:33) 2. Eustachian Tube (5:52) 3. Not Yet 1 (1:56) 4. Kissing Disease (4:17) 5. Meniere’s Vertigo (5:45) 6. Not Yet 2 (2:07) 7. Social Phobia (7:14) 8. Vocal Cord Polypus (5:54) 9. Not Yet 3 (1:36) 10. Panic Disorder (3:54) 11. Scoliosis +...
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Here's how to tell
Couldn’t fit this on Twitter, thought it was kinda cute; When God made man, he made him out of string. He had a little left, so he left a little thing. When God made woman, he made her out of lace. He didn’t have enough, so he left a little space.
People are shiftless
This surprised me! According to J.D. Powers, 2008 was the last year that any manufacturer of full-size trucks offered a manual transmission. The 2008 Dodge Ram was the last to make manual an option. I remember being stuck at a red light with some guy in a BMW very close behind and others behind him, I think it was Cherry St. between 4th and 5th in Seattle, somewhere around there. VERY steep, and...
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I stand accused
Teresa said, “Did you take one of my spatulas, John”? So I got all defensive and replied, “Yes, Teresa. I took your spatula. I also have some of those corn holder spikey things, and a couple of eggbeaters. I take them out and admire them when no one is home. It’s a sickness.” Now in addition to the charge of kitchen utensil theft, I’m in trouble for “being...
Who?
I get emails from Classmates.com saying for example,
Remember Jane Smith? Say hi to the newest Class of ‘78 alum to join, John
Hell no, I don’t remember. That was 32 years ago! I can barely remember what my girlfriend looked like. Jane Smith may have BEEN my girlfriend. Either way, it’s best to leave that alone.
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POS really isn't
p> I was working with our cash register software when a message appeared that I had never seen before:
At first I thought “You got that right! But then I realized POS meant “Point Of Sale”. Anyway, I got back in the program and everything was OK. must have been one of those computer gremlins.
Women are from Yale, men are from Schlage.
Paraphrasing something from reddit.com comments: I just had an argument with a girl I know. She was saying how it’s unfair that if a guy has sex with a different girl every week, he’s a legend, but if a girl has sex with just two guys in a year, she’s a slut. So in response I told her that if a key opens lots of locks, then it’s a master key. But if a lock is opened by...
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Saying it wrong...
Recently we watched the movie “Splinterheads”, which features a girl who likes to find Geocaches. (It’s available for streaming on Netflix - If you like carnivals, or geocaching, or Lea Thompson, you should see it)
Watching the movie, I realized that to my great shame, I have been pronouncing “Geocache” and “cache” wrong for years. It’s pronounced...
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Bumblebee Solution
I wish I lived closer to my brother in law. Here is part of the advice he gave me about bees on our MyFamily.com site (He actually is a beekeeper and he gave me good Mr. Whoopie style advice preceding - but I like this part) …The next day, knock their nest down and get rid of it because that is where all the larvae is. First put duct tape over your mouth. If you happen to get stung while...
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How thoughtful
I just placed an order from American Science and Surplus, this was at the top of the emailed order confirmation; ATTENTION PLEASE: The following email might possibly contain information about gifts to be delivered from American Science & Surplus. If you share this email address with someone else—and have not recently shopped at American Science & Surplus—please don’t peek...
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What's in a name?
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Liquidator's Warehouse; They also have solids
We went to the Liquidator’s Warehouse last Saturday, since we happened to be in the seedy industrial district anyway.
I’m sure your area has something like this; a clue is when they have cereal but also tarps. This one had every kind of ill-conceived product; I could swear I saw Triple-backed tape ( How do you get it off the roll?), there were ink cartridges for printers they...
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Sometimes, I get my tongue over my eye tooth
Sometimes I get my tongue over my eye tooth and can’t see what I’m saying… Meant to comment to Teresa on the fact that we have been married for a longer time than I was single, but it came out “We have been married longer than I have been alive.” She’s all “What’s that supposed to mean!!??”
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Stain your local government
Snohomish County runs a free recycling program for household hazmat in South Everett. They take items such as old motor oil, bug spray, old cans of shellac and stain, etc. So people aren’t tempted to try to sneak it into the regular trash stream, I guess.
But they don’t actually KISS it. At least, I didn’t see anyone kissing it. Check with your county officials, maybe they have...
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Grey Gardens West; The one about frog poop
We installed one of those motion activated porch lights to discourage bugs from flying around there.
When I googled about that, there was someone complaining in a forum that the bugs around his porch light attracted tree frogs and he is tired of all the frog crap on his porch. He must have a lot of shrubbery around the front door.
Our front shrubs are kind of overgrown and we have...
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Let's talk plumbing
After getting ripped off by one of those big Seattle plumbing companies on my bath faucet emergency, I was a bit skittish about having the water heater replaced; but of course it was leaking so I was stuck.
Fortunately I was able find a reasonably priced local plumber who was honest in his dealing and did a great job quickly. I am now up to code with a thermal overflow tank and earthquake...
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“ALFRED’S TRACTOR
When the Allis-Chalmers got away from him one day and...”
– My favorite little story from this early Garrison Keillor collection, “Happy To Be Here” - I finished reading it and posted it to Bookmooch.
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Ivory Soap only 99 44/100% effective against...
I put a bar of Ivory soap under the sheet in the general vicinity of my legs last night, actually Teresa put it there although insisting it was the stupidest thing she ever heard of. My sister Jan, Dad and the Internet home remedy community insist that this is a good treatment for Restless Legs- I think my tingly legs have more to do with diabetes but if it works for one it should work for the...
What are the logistics of this?
I hope that dog bed is machine washable.
tumblrbot asked: WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE INANIMATE OBJECT?
UR2 hip
One of my coworkers has a new thing where he says “do me a solid” instead of “do me a favor”
I have a problem with this. Do a solid? As opposed to what? A liquid? A gas? This could go downhill real quick.
August 2010
4 posts
Who's with me?
Is there anyone else who finds it necessary when having pork chops and applesauce, to announce it as Peter Brady doing James Cagney? Anyone? Nevermind then.
Who's with me?
Is there anyone else who finds it necessary when having pork chops and applesauce, to announce it as Peter Brady doing James Cagney? Anyone? Nevermind then.
