explodingdog:

What did Crazy Monster do last night?

What is that stuff at the top of a desk calendar called? Anyone? 

Most people probably already knew, but I’m sort of dense sometimes - I was googling to determine the cost per square inch of a TV I bought, and ran across this chart at ScreenMath.com:

  Old Screen Size (Diag., Inches) Screen Height HDTV Screen Size (Diag.) 21 12.6 26 27 16.2 33 29 17.4 35 31 18.6 38 32 19.2 39 34 20.4 42 36 21.6 44 40 24.0 49 42 25.2 51 50 30.0 61 55 33.0 67 60 36.0 73  

Above: If your old TV has a 34-inch screen, for older programs like I Love Lucy, Seinfeld etc. to be the SAME SIZE on your new HDTV, the new TV should have a 42-inch screen.

What the hell are they watching here? Anyway, after reading an article at NiceTaco.com, of all places, which goes into great detail about screen aspect ratios, Pythagorean Theorem, and why Jennifer Aniston looks fat on some TV sets, I finally concluded that comparing the screens between old and new TV’s is an apples and oranges thing.

BUT they DID have a handy calculator at the bottom to determine the area in square inches- This is what I wanted, I was able to determine that a $350 basic 32” TV costs 80 cents per square inch, and the $500 42” one we wound up with, ran 66 cents per square inch.

Unfortunately, there is one thing I did not consider. The animals on the screen apparently do not look “real” - anyway, my dog doesn’t bark at the TV anymore. YMMV.

I sent the following missive to my sister, who has problems with defective(?) contact lenses:

I sure would consider glasses, or at least have some for backup. Studies show that people who wear glasses are treated better by employers and get better grades in school.

They are also good for communication: For example:

A. You are in a meeting - You can take them off dramatically and say something like, “Dammit, Edna, your overtime rules are jeopardizing  the safety of this hospital!”. Be sure to practice this move first, it would not be good to accidentally fling your glasses across the room.

B. Showing contempt by looking at someone over the top of the frame.

C. Flirting - you can take them off and thoughtfully gnaw on them while staring up into some dude’s eyes. This is probably why Ed doesn’t want you to get glasses.

D. You can take them off and dramatically rub your eyes to signify that it’s been a long day and you have had it with this person’s BS. Mrs. Pinchon on “Lou Grant” used to do this in almost every episode.

I’m sure there are others but now my eyes are already getting tired. I don’t even have defective contacts, I have to envy yours.

Sometimes guys don’t think before they pop off a one-liner, to wit…

Wife: “Hey! Let’s go out and have a good time tonight!”

Husband: “Okay! But if you get home before I do, leave the hall light on.”

It’s that time of the year when a fresh start means reducing the clutter accumulated in the last 12 months and in the many months and years before. The sagging bookshelf and the piles of books under the tables and around the bed might be a good place to start.

via roomfordebate.blogs.nytimes.com

This rhyming first aid video already improved my general state of health- I laughed so hard that it dislodged an airway obstruction.

Boy Howdy, we get some weird spam, and I don’t mean lunch meat with bits of corn in it. Check this out:

Tреклист:
1. Choanal Imperforation (6:33)
2. Eustachian Tube (5:52)
3. Not Yet 1 (1:56)
4. Kissing Disease (4:17)
5. Meniere’s Vertigo (5:45)
6. Not Yet 2 (2:07)
7. Social Phobia (7:14)
8. Vocal Cord Polypus (5:54)
9. Not Yet 3 (1:36)
10. Panic Disorder (3:54)
11. Scoliosis + Astigmatism (5:31)

It had a sound file attached, are they a band or a podcast about medical disorders? I have #4, #6, #7, I had #10 at the dentist one time, and half of #11.

Couldn’t fit this on Twitter, thought it was kinda cute;

When God made man, he made him out of string. He had a little
left, so he left a little thing.

When God made woman, he made her out of lace. He didn’t have
enough, so he left a little space.